Disappointment

Have you ever been a disappointment? An encounter today has me thinking about the times in my life when I have been a disappointment.

Today, I stopped to assist a woman who had totalled her car. I stopped to ensure she was not injured and learned a bit about her life. In our thirty minute conversation, her statement, "I am such a disappointment to everyone" had me thinking...how does one become a disappointment?

For her, I am sure that alcohol addiction played a large part in her feelings of being a disappointment. Yes, she was intoxicated at noon; she had admitted her addiction. I learned that she was married and had three children; the oldest 12. Did she see herself as a disappointment to her children?

She needed to call her mother to come and pick her up. Her mother arrived and asked if she was injured. I assured her that she was not physically injured and that she would be better with some sleep. Did she see herself as a disappointment to her mother?

It was odd for me that she did not call her husband to pick her up. She did say that he was. "Going to kill her." My sense of humor kicked in and I said, "I hope not after surviving this accident." Did she see herself as a disappointment to her husband?

Where does disappointment come from?

Disappointment comes from an internal feeling we impose upon ourselves. It is based on an emotional response that we create based on our EXPECTATION of ourselves.

So how do we help to avoid feeling like a disappointment?

If disappointment comes from our self imposed expectation than perhaps we need to be easier on ourselves. Perhaps we need to continually alter our expectation for ourselves. If we continually fail in our expectations than perhaps we have unrealistic expectations.

 Life is a journey in learning. Each day we should learn about our world and about ourselves. We should learn from our mistakes and take them as a opportunity to learn. Little life lessons-- how do you think we get them?

Live in the moment. The world is constantly changing. Our options and responses to the environment need to be constantly changing. If we learn to accept and live life in the moment; each day will be cherished.

Attitude. We have the ability to choose it. Don't believe me; try it. Select the attitude that you want when you wake up. A positive attitude will allow you to work through life's challenges with an open mind and a sense of learning through the struggle.

Life Lesson: Disappointment is self imposed; take it easy on yourself.

My Funny Valentine...

You are the first thought of the day; the last at night.

Time rushes by when we are together; each hour seems like an eternity until I see you.

My heart aches when you are not here; rejoices when we are in each other’s arms.

We have had our ups; they have outnumbered our downs.

There is no other that I want to ride with through life; walk hand in hand on this journey.

We will disappoint each other; I will promise to forgive and work harder.

I will laugh at your boyish charm; melt in the arms of my man.

I will love, honor, and respect you; giggle, laugh and find humor in the day.

I will smile so that you wonder what I am thinking; frown with disappointment when you are late.

I will wear flannel in summer; so that you can have winter in June.

I will be your partner; not your mother.

You can do it your way; I will just shake my head and think…I told you so.

When it is dark in your world; I will help light the way.

When Rock and Roll stops; Country will replace the silence.

Looking forward to what lies ahead; letting go of what has been in the past.

A love like ours comes along once in a lifetime; let’s enjoy every moment.

I love you with all my heart.

Lessons Learned: You will always be my funny Valentine.

A mother's work---

A mother's work is never done--packing lunches, preparing breakfast, and the retrival of wash from the dryer from the night before.

A mother's work is never done--pet walking, feeding and play time. 

A mother's work is never done--we joke about the little things that for a moment make us want to scream. All we can do is laugh.

A mother's work is never done--we know the milk in the glass will end up on the floor.

A mother's work is never done--we try to fix the forgotten cupcakes, lunch, or homework.

A mother's work is never done--we teach you that some things just don't matter.

A mother's work is never done--we run you to pratice, to the dentist, from teeth to the head, and tell you to relax when we are a moment late.

A mother's work is never done--we wipe away the tears from falls--of physical injury and love of the pets we've lost, the girl that broke your heart and all of lifes ups and downs.

A mother's work is never done--because in a moment that mother is a grandmother and a grandmother's work is never done.

Life Lessons: Just when we beleive our work as mother's is done; we become grandmothers.

I LOVE...

Have you ever thought about what YOU love?

Tom T. Hall sings, "I love". Terry, my brother used to sing that song to me when we were out driving--Little baby ducks, old pick up trucks, slow moving trains, and rain...

But what do YOU love?

I love Friday evenings in, dinners with my friends, Jack in a glass, and chrome.

I love candles burning bright, memories as a kid, rooting for the underdog, and life.
And I love you too!

I love Sundays in my jeans, Starbucks in my cup, Chevy pick up trucks, and glass.

I love riding with my man, strolling on the beach, time with my son, and music.
And I love you too!

I love sloppy puppy kisses, laughter of a child, rolling in the grass and Mass.

I love friendships that never end, Stella in a glass, old country music and dragonflies.
And I love you too!

Life Lessons: The things that I love are simple--but the most simple thing is the love I have for YOU!

Let's Get Physical...

Walking into the gym...
Ambitions set so high--
feel so alive.

Stepping onto the treadmill...

A minute feels like five--

want to die.

Six minutes...
Legs begin the burn--
the threat of a mile.

Twelve minutes...
Push on through--
look what you can do.

Arm day and core...
Reps of 3 not 4--
set of 10 not ready for more.


An hour has gone by...
Home for the day--
not to much more to say.

Tomorrow...
Begins another day--
walking into the gym.

Lessons Learned: When you feel the pain; push on through.

True Love...

How do you know true love?

True love is rare. It comes to few; yet it is what we all hope to find. It often develops over time; sometimes felt from the first moment. It is hard to define but when you have it you know it. Or do you?

 Does it take being apart to make one realize that what they had was true love? Does the reality of missing that person set in all at once or does it happen gradually? Why is it the one that we can't live with becomes the one we can't live without?

Can you find true love in the same person after they walked out? Did it take them walking out to realize what they had? Did it take them not being there for you to want them back even more?

The heart is fragile. Yet we continue to allow it to be broken over and over. Each time vowing this will be the last. Should our hearts have a "FRAGILE" label? Should we announce to all--my heart has been broken--handle with care?

Maybe we like the pain? If we didn't, why would we allow it to happen again? Do we allow ourselves to be hurt because we enjoy the pain? Is it the hope that this will be the last time and our hearts will heal?

How do you heal a heart? Can the emptiness be replaced? Can we allow it to be open to the possibility of another heart break? What is the healing time?

One last question, Can I trust you with my heart?

Lesson Learned: I didn't know I needed you until I didn't have you to need!

Heroes...

What defines a hero?

The dictionary defines a hero as a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds or noble qualities. That means the possibility exists for 3,324,047,000 males in the world to be a hero or 50.24% of the worlds population.

One of my biggest heroes is Capt. Chesley Burnett Sullenberger, III "Sully". You may remember him for his landing a plane in the Hudson River and never loosing a passenger He had lost both engines to a flock of birds. The flight as he stated was, "completely routine and unremarkable" for the first 100 seconds of flight. The next 208 seconds are what make him a hero.

His only words to the control tower after it was clear he would not be able to land at any nearby airports, "Were going to be in the Hudson." He told the flight crew and passengers to , "Brace for Impact." I often think of those words when I am faced with a crisis-- 

Tonight, I challenged each one of my students.  After watching the video of Capt. Sully's incredible landing, I asked the question, "Is he a Hero?" Unanimously, they shook their heads, "Yes." We talked about the defining characteristics of what made him a hero--ability to remain calm under pressure, the ability to save all lives on board, and to go against air traffic control when it was clear he could not make it any further.

I then asked them if they were Heroes? We had just talked about issues in their practice. They felt that what they did as nurses was insignificant. Each day they are making the same decisions as Capt. Sully. They are alerting others when they "loose engines". They remain calm in the midst of "Going in the Hudson" and they "Brace for Impact" as they meet the ever changing health care environment.

The number of licensed registered nurses in the United States is 3.1 million. Women represent 93.4% of the total.

So, who are your heroes?

Lessons Learned: Heroes are not born; they are educated, trained and practice--they are also women.