Back...

The loss of a parent at any age is devastating. I've been there. There are no words that can take away the emptiness...no magic potion to drink to help you forget. Remembering the fun times does not ease the hurt; the sorrow comes rushing back--

Two close friends have recently lost their fathers. As if the loss of a parent wasn't enough, the families are at odds--one over a business; the other over the location of the remains. It is hard for me to understand why, at such an already difficult time, families would not make amends. No decisions over the business or location of ashes can bring their father back--

I was fortunate to have a strong, stable family when my dad died. My brother and I had come to terms with my dad's death long before the day he died. Perhaps it was from living with us in the last year or so of his life, the stories he shared, or that he had shown us he was at peace with God's will to call him back--

There was no disagreeing. Things did not matter. We only had each other. Dad would have not wanted to see us disagree over possessions. Instead we agreed unconsciously to always have each others back--

Throughout my time as a nurse, I've had the opportunity to care for patients at the end of life.  I've seen some really great family stories. One patient was nearing death, he was surrounded by his wife and children in a king size bed the night before he died in his own home. The memories of sharing that time with them come rushing back--

Another patient had struggled with the relationship between him and his son. When it was clear that he would not make it through but a few days, he shared with me that he wanted to talk to his son but that his wife would never call him. I asked if we could all talk together and he agreed. The wife did refuse to call but provided me the phone number. Before I made the call we talked about what could happen. He could not come to see his dad or he could come and they could put years of pain behind them. When I called, the son was not home. He would not come when he called back--

So many will tell you that time will help you forget. I don't want to forget. I want the pain to be there. If it doesn't hurt--it lessen the bond between father and child. I still wish I could have him back--

So to those that read--if your father is still in your life--strengthen the bond. When they are gone I want you to feel the hurt. It is a sign that they have played and important part in your life. If they are not close, mend the relationship and make the journey back--

One last request, you will see your father again. Our Heavenly Father has told us so. When you come face to face with your father--ensure that he will be proud of what you have accomplished, how you have cared for your family, and contributed to society. Make him proud to welcome you back--

Life Lessons: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you...I will come again and receive you unto myself. John 14 (2)